Everything about the eyes

Posted by starry eyed (112 days ago)

To the guys: when you look more than once or stare at a girl longer than is normal, does that signal interest? And if so, what would you like the girl to do? Or what would you like the girl to say or do to encourage you to talk to her? Or would you rather the girl not do anything because you like the mystery and just look from afar?

To the girls: anyone has such an experience before that some guy just looks at you more than once and stares at you longer than is normal? And any interesting tales to share?

(I am based in Singapore)

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Posted by hoyo (112 days ago)

if you like the guy, smile at him,. if you don't, just ignore him.
usually, once you smile at a guy, he will make the move.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by starry eyed (112 days ago)

You mean even if it's not in a bar but just randomly in any public area during the daytime?

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by hoyo (112 days ago)

sure, any place would so as long as at the end, the guy makes a move on you. that's what you want, no?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by starry eyed (112 days ago)

Sure, though it hasn't always happened though. So I was wondering whether I was reading the message wrongly or not doing enough or something. OK, have to stop sounding neurotic but you get the drift.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by KLYKLW (112 days ago)

If this happen ina bar/club, return it with a smile if you would like to know what will be his next move, if you are not interested, just ignore it or move away.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by mikky999 (102 days ago)

I think, girls shound't return his stare with smile, unless he was first smiling to you, otherwise, he might think that she is so easy.

For guys, don't just look at her, a little smily face shoyuld be presentd when your eyes reach her eyes. If she returns some good signal, the u'd make a move.

(I am based in Bangkok)

Posted by car_lover (102 days ago)

Smiling doesn't mean he/she is interested, it cld just be a show of politeness.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by starry eyed (102 days ago)

Does anyone have an enlightened view of why some guys only stare but not smile or make a move?

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by surfjourno (95 days ago)

My view may not be enlightened, but it could be worth thinking about.

When a guy looks at you, it really could be for any number of reasons - from good to bad. These include:

1) He thinks you look gorgeous and would like to either 1a) have a relationship or 1b) have sex with you.
2) He's surveying the room trying to check out who's face looks good, but you just happened to look at him at the same time. But now he thinks you were checking him out, so he looks back to see if you are still checking him out. In reality neither of you are and neither of you are interested in one another.
3) He's bored, in a relationship, and gets a small thrill from flirting from afar. If he truly thought you were drop dead gorgeous he'd more than likely go right on up and introduce himself.
4) He thinks you are wierd looking, even ugly, and is wondering what your life is like with such a face. People stare at others who are different or ugly/interesting too - especially in pubs/clubs...to see how they intereact, what they are doing etc.
5) He stares because you look like his sister, brother or cousin etc - and can't believe how similar you look. No hope of a r/ship if this is the reason.
6) He is staring because he really does like the look of you, and wondering if you are single etc...but is a socially inept. Staring is rude...and, if you catch a guy staring, and he doesn't divert his eyes or at least smile, this is a sign of a sociopath. Beware.

Anyway, all I am saying is that some staring can be healthy and romantic if it involves ethical intentions and is not confrontational, but it can also be negative, even sinister. Luck of the draw. One good way is to just cut the chase when you see someone staring - and simply say "may I help you?" in a non-flirtatious manner. This will break any ice, plus provide a platform from which you can either positively continue conversation if you like him, or you can let him know you don't appreciate being stared at if you don't like his response/attitude/candor after asking if you could help.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Stini (95 days ago)

Hey Starry-eyed

I have the same case with you, if I'm not misunderstanding what you mean.

I notice a guy in the office lately (actually for a few months) and we staring at each other more than once a day keep this situatios for more than 3 months. I do interested in him and dont know what should I do, I just keep on giving him the "eye" signal, and I guess if he is interested he will come and say hi. however up until now he still didnt make the move but still keeping his eyes on me.I really dont know what should I do, um...I do interested in him.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by starry eyed (94 days ago)

Thanks, surfjourno, for the insights. I think the sociopath and socially stunted guesses could be closer to the truth.

Stini, if your colleague's interested, he would approach you since it seems like you've given him some signals. But he may have reservations because of the office environment.

(I am based in Singapore)

Posted by dadda (94 days ago)

Stini, say 'Hi' next time you walk past him. break the ice with casual 'hello', good weekend" etc and see if he keeps the chat going

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by hualaan (93 days ago)

If I'm in a situation with the opportunity to look around, on a bus or the subway, for example, and I notice a good/interesting looking woman, I may casually try to catch her eye, hopefully without looking like I'm trying too hard! If I succeed, I'll smile and hold the look for a moment. One of three things happen: either she doesn't smile; she smiles in a purely friendly manner then looks away; or she smiles and holds my gaze for a moment too long. This is, I think, a pretty good sign that she's returning my flirt.

After that, what do I do? Usually: nothing. Now, that's because I'm married and have no interest in anything more. Even when I was single, though, I never felt any imperative to "follow through". The flirt itself, even just the friendly smile from a stranger, that momentary connection, I think can be a wonderful thing in a sometimes cold world. Occasionally, if the situation seemed right and the chance presented itself, I would go further and this did lead to a few wonderful times.

Stini: I suspect that his hesitancy may have to do with the office environment and a reluctance to get involved with someone he works with. It can work out well, but if it goes badly, and you still have to work together, it can get pretty ugly. He may have had such an experience in the past or he may just be aware of the potential problems.

Surfjourno: I'm sorry, but your advice is very cold. If you don't want to flirt, then don't return the gaze/smile or just flash a quick, friendly smile. If you're interested, then return it and hold it. If the other person is only staring and not smiling at all, then they're not flirting and your advice would be warranted, but otherwise, why not add a little warmth to life, rather than coldness?

Okay, that's my two cents...

(I am based in Bangkok)