Office Romance

Posted by ador (131 days ago)

Good or not? what do you guys think? Some people say that it's not good to have the office romance, I do agree with it but you know when it come, you cant run away.

I'm interested in my colleague in other department, we alway winking at each other, but we seldom talk (nearly no talks), not easy to have a chance to chat. what should I do next? Please advise...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by fatkid (131 days ago)

u'd better leave it, u dun even know her. Office romance nearly always attracts rumours and it's very embarassing should it not work out. Unless there's sth already going on and its high probable that it could work, otherwise I would suggest you stay away from it since you barely know the girl.

Winking at you really doesn't mean anything, could just be out of courtesy or she could just be a flirt, don't take that as vibes or signs that she is equally interested in you.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Ivor Biggun (131 days ago)

Advice is do not do it! I remember an old boss of mine always said to me "never do the payroll", and he was right.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ador (131 days ago)

Thanks guys, I'm a girl by the way, Yea, I guess i do need to stay away from it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kaileyb (130 days ago)

I have a habit of winking at waiters & waitresses, doormen, barmen etc, just as I'm saying thank you, sometimes I'll throw in a wink and a smile. Doesn't mean I like them, doesn't mean I want to pursue anything with them. If you've not had the chance to talk to him, and are basing your attraction to him on a few winks, then I'd say leave it. Sayings like "don't dip your pen in the company ink" didn't come about for no reason.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by 9-11 (130 days ago)

Or to be more pungent : "You don't want to foul your own nest" !

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MJ1 (130 days ago)

I don't think an office romance is that big a deal these days. Given employees don't stay very long at one employer anymore, it's unlikely that you both will be colleagues for too long. Furthermore, it seems you both don't work together on any projects anyway, so again I don't see that it's a big deal. Office romances are common.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (129 days ago)

Steadfast rule folks really ought to stick with: Don't crap where you eat.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by juliesims (128 days ago)

I disagree. Go for it. You are all adults and it doesn't need to end unhappily.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Nemesis (128 days ago)

The yeahs and the nays have already been summed up by previous posters. I am not going to rehash them.

You've mentioned that you have hardly talked to another. Why don't you explore that road first before you start worrying? There is a chance you might not even like each other when you get to know each other better. He is now more a figment of your imagination than a person of flesh and blood ... and flaws.

Personally I don't take people who easily wink extremely seriously. [edit] Like a previous poster has already mentioned, it usually has no deeper meaning. [/edit] But like I said that is a personal thing.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by sunflower lion (128 days ago)

talk to the guy...for heavens sake!

Then decide if its worth the try...u never know, he might be just looking or winking at you like a brother to a younger sister...c'mon! ...romance?...where?...chit chat first then conclude...

peace y'all!
=p

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jojofox (128 days ago)

I agree with Nemesis, why not explore some more before you draw conclusions? No one ask you to jump into bed with him straight away!! He may turn out someone you have no interest in after all or he may be the one you are looking for all your life.

I married my "office romance" and we live happily ever after :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sunflower lion (128 days ago)

Hi Roda, btw...can i get ur email add?...hehehe =P

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ador (127 days ago)

thanks everyone replying me. Well... I guess i need to know him more first, but i'm not the active gril, how can i start talking to him?:o...Not easy to catch him, but i'm sure i will smile to him everytime when i met him.

Actually, I think office romance is very common nowadays, work is a natural place to meet new people. After all, you spend at least 45 hours a week there, with individuals of similar backgrounds and interests. Relationships with co-workers can be especially tempting because hard work doesn't leave much time for socializing. And, that's why i'm single :(


jojofox,so is he made the first move or you? Thanks for supprting me. Well..I dont know what should I do at this moment. I always think that if he is interested he will make the first move, right?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ador (127 days ago)

sunflower lion, Thanks there I knew i should talk to him first..

btw, why do u want my email? :o
to give me some advise?? haha

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by fatkid (127 days ago)

Yes if a guy is interested then if he WILL definitely make the first move, no doubt about that.
If he doesn't, then he's probably not that into you.

I mean, I will tell you what happens in the real world. If you make the first move, provided that you are not bad looking and have an agreeable character, the average guy would at least PRETEND that he is interested to capitalize on your interest in him for obvious reasons, there is no way that you can tell whether he is genuinely interested or not. You can refer to other threads and see other girls complaining about meeting a new guy, seemingly nice and all, that got laid and then just vanished into thin air, you must be aware that this happens ALL THE TIME, not saying that there aren't any genuinely decent guys out there, but the probability of a guy being "a guy" is much higher than a guy being a "decent guy" if you know what I mean.

Well at the end of the day, it's your call. Just don't come crying and saying why did the guy disappear after he got into your pants and complaining how he F-ed up your worklife.

If you are a working adult, you should have learned enough to get over such a superficial crush when you hardly know the person at all, work just ain't highschool. Based on what you said, your infatuation is sheerly based on appearance and nothing more, and you already idealized this person, which is more fictitious than real since you don't really know him, as Nemesis mentioned. You don't even know the guy but you already labelled him = office romance, not a good sign at all.

I am not saying there's anything wrong with office romance given the right circumstances, but you must be aware of the -ve consequences and embarassment should it not work out. You do sound very lonely and eager to be with someone and you have made this person that you hardly know as someone you desperately wanna be with, which makes you highly vulnerable to the aforementioned scenario.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by jojofox (127 days ago)

Ador, Fatkid has got a fair point. You need to think through this carefully, think about what happens if it doesn't work out - Can you bear working in the same office with him again? How is this going to affect your career (considering HK company probably has a more reserved culture)? etc.......

My "office romance" turned husband and I worked together for a while before we discover our attractions for each other. Which is why you need to get to know him before you consider a "romance"!

I'd say if he is interested, he will make the first move so don't do anything you may regret later (i.e. if he is not interested!). Don't you guys have office drinks on Friday or any other office functions where you can get to know people from other departments?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sunflower lion (127 days ago)

hey dex444, thats my line!

=( ...y did u steal my line...

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by fatkid (127 days ago)

"btw, why do u want my email? :o
to give me some advise?? haha"

Are you kidding? Or are you trying to pretend that you are really that innocent? Gee...

See? The above 2 posts just proves my point that the average man desires nth but getting into a willing woman's pants.

Need I say more? LOL.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Nemesis (127 days ago)

In addition to my previous post, I forgot to ask an elementary thing.

Have you already found out if he is single?

It would suck if you are going through all this while he is attached and there is little chance that something might develop.

If he is taken, respect other people's property. Saves a lot of hassles ...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by ador (122 days ago)

up until now, i still dont have chance to talk to him, or even meet him in the corridor. What should I do...:(

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by fatkid (122 days ago)

Damn FFS grow up and forget about it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by S119 (115 days ago)

Well these days it really doesn't matter who makes the 1st move. Judging by the problems we face meeting trustworthy ppl in the real world....office does seem to be more comfortable surroundings to easily talk and romance someone without the influence of alcohol. Whether you choose to pursue him or not try not to regret it later. Good luck

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ador (115 days ago)

S119,Thanks for your help. Yes, I will try to talk to him first.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Stini (87 days ago)

Hi Ador, I have the same situation with you, I met a guy in the office and we "wink" at each other for a while, but he didnt make any move. I dont know why men like this. Did you talk to him recently?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by hualaan (86 days ago)

Even if you don't make the first move, ador, at least try to give him a good opening (or several) for him to make the first move without worrying that he'll crash and burn. From his point of view, his worklife could get pretty uncomfortable if he made a move and then found out you weren't thinking of him that way at all. With all the winking going on, he may be worried that you just have an eye tick!

A woman in our office married a guy in our office; he quit and joined another company shortly after (or before, I'm not sure) the wedding. That was more than ten years ago and it obviously worked out well for them. Still, it's worth considering what would have happened if it hadn't worked out...

(I am based in Bangkok)

Posted by ador (84 days ago)

Hi Stini,

I read your thread and Your Situation is quite same as mine. But mine is even worse than yours, I I guess. I still didnt have any chance to talk or chat with him, cos he is not always join the company gathering, he sit quite far from me, hardly catch him on the corridor alone.

As time flies, it's has been already a few months, I really cant bare abt this situation. we still didnt break the ice but keep on "staring" at each other, I try to stay away from his eyes but I find that he was looking at me when i look up or look back. Sometimes is quite annoying...

I just dont know why he doing this and not just come up to say hi to me. It's quite crazy. Now, I stop winking/looking at him, cos i'm tired to think abt why he doing that but not just ask me out. If he is interested in me but becos of the office and not make the first move then he is the loser. It's not worth to waste my time on him. and if it;s just becos he is not into me than i dont need to care abt him anymore.

(I am based in Hong Kong)